I deserve everything I recieve,
I'm a bad person under a shadow,
And a cloud of diminishing hope.
I hate myself for all I've done,
To hurt you, or to hurt everyone.
I want to die, I want to forget,
My ties to all that I have left.
Everything would be better if I,
Never met you, were never alive.
I'm sick of rambling on endlessly,
Following my steps with apologies.
I don't want sympathy or prayer,
I just asked for someone to care.
I am taking blame and accepting,
Penance for sins I am collecting.
Pain isn't what I mean to inflict,
I just wanna be like you, perfect.
I am tired of using the letter I,
And to be cleansed I need to die.
I am too ugly to keep pretending,
Self-esteem is worth defending.
No one will remember my name,
In their best interest someday.
I have poured my own heart dry,
So many hundred fucking times.
And this one seems to be worst,
At telling you how badly I hurt.
All I want to say is how sorry,
I sincerely am for just being me.
Copyright 2006
-John Gehrig