I don't remember your name,
I intentionally erased it all,
From everything I've known.
I will not get back the days,
That were exactly the same,
When I lived to take the fall,
For actions I didn't condone.
I found something inside you,
I can not recall what though,
Not anymore should I lament,
Over such a careless mistake.
I pretended it was not true,
As said a thousand times ago,
You were all I had to defend,
And it was just all so vague.
My self-respect is no more,
A valuable trait to possess,
And my self-esteem is gone,
Along with all of my dreams.
I'm the shadow on the floor,
Possibly even a tiny bit less,
Since I lived with it so long,
Being no more than a disease.
I am a different person now,
Than I ever was in the past,
I once stood for something,
More than being your waste.
It crushes me knowing how,
The side effects always last,
Because I have been nothing,
Since all those dismal days.
In my mind you are all I had,
In my eyes you're worthless,
I saw a part of you in myself,
And that part of me is dead.
I drained blood from a scab,
And sealed it all with a kiss,
All inside my letter for help,
That I know you never read.
Copyright 2006
-John Gehrig