When I ask him to pull me through,
Another day of hell in one piece,
While I ask him to fulfill my needs.
I don't know where my prayers go,
As well as having nothing to show,
For each one sent out on the verge,
Of suicide due to a lack of words.
I don't know the girl I call my own,
Even being with her I'm still alone.
She's so transparent and so frail,
Every attempt of loving her failed.
I don't know why we even continue,
Other then her subtle "I love you".
It's so vain it makes me despondent,
She sends cancer in correspondence.
I don't know friends I can lean on,
Everytime I start falling they're gone.
I make them look good and feel sane,
And they only leave me here in pain.
I don't know their names anymore,
It's impossible to keep friends for,
Any more then one use at a time until,
All your hopes and dreams get killed.
I don't know enough to fake a smile,
With all these failures I've compiled.
Everyone wants salvation including I,
But not everyone feels an urge to die.
I don't know how I explain to myself,
This is normal and I don't need help.
All that I want will forever elude me,
If this is the person I choose to be.
Copyright 2006
-John Gehrig